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Mail Magazine VOL.137: "I know your smile is a lie" My friends in Kabuki-cho



Mom, Dad, who is that "discipline" for?

Sometimes a child suffers depending on what the parents think is right.

It's not that I don't listen to you, it's just that my intentions are different from yours.

We are not "puppets." Try to understand each other.

Hello. It's Kyuri here. In the previous mail magazine, I wrote "To me when I was doing a "deal" in Kabuki-cho." This time, I met my friends in Kabuki-cho, and I have too many thoughts about my friends' parents, so I tried to write them down.


My friend (16 years old) always slept in the plaza in Kabuki-cho. The bath towel she wrapped around her body to keep out the cold must have been stolen from some hotel.

You are always smiling and taking care of people around you, even though you can't afford to be. We talked until morning. You have the same fake smile I do. We became friends, "You're nice." I wondered about myself, my family, and what I had suffered to get to this place. I thought, "You and I are a lot alike. As we talked about things that we couldn't tell anyone else, me and that guy started spending time together and became best friends.


One day I asked you, "Why were you sleeping alone on the street every day?" And you said, "My parents put me in a children's home. When I came home for the first time in six months, your mother moved out on her own and disappeared with a man. I looked at you, who had no choice but to put a lid on your true feelings.


"I went home for the first time in a long time and found a stranger living there."


How could he abandon her child and leave with a man? She's suffering because her parents left her on her own. How could she hurt my precious best friend? Without regard for her heart. I don't consider such shitty parents as human beings.


The real feelings behind her smile are "loneliness". She cried and suffered and their hearts were all messed up. And then she got caught for stealing a 100-yen candy from a convenience store because she was "hungry." But it wasn't her fault. It was her parents who made her do that, who didn't confront her. I haven't seen her since then. I should have bought the candy myself. It's not really a parent's role to take care of her. I'm a shitty parent who only cares about herself and doesn't understand other people's hearts!



Another friend is a 15-year-old who says, "I love my mom!" But now she lives alone in the house where she used to live with her mother. She leaves you with few ten thousand yen for living expenses and goes to a guy's house without you. My friend thinks "I love you" even though she's such a parent.


How can they make you feel lonely? How can they do that with impunity? She told me that she does everything by herself, including school and housework, worked part-time, and came home to an empty room and cried by herself. How could she be unaware of how much she really wanted to be with me? She was so lonely that she would cut her wrist, OD (overdose), and sleep alone. It's too hard for her to deal with the situation she can't control and the thought that her parents won't accept her. Her "Why did you have me?" are words that contain how much pain and emptiness she is feeling. Do you know how much pain and emptiness she is going through?

Don't run away from children. Cowardly adults.

Children will go after their parents unconditionally. What about the parents? Do they put conditions on their love, yell at them when they don't get their way, or abandon them when it's not convenient? How dare they live like this? No idea. Try to face your children. Why did you become a parent. Even if it's hard, that's your duty as a parent. Don't make the mistake of thinking that raising a child the way the parents want is love. Children are much more thoughtful. I have met such friends in that town.


Children are beings to be protected. Don't let them cover their feelings of wanting to be understood and their frankness. I don't consider adults who can only see and think about themselves, and who think hard only about how they can satisfy their own greed, to be parents. I despise them as human beings. I can't help but wonder how the two children born to such parents are doing now. I think there are children in many places who are alone, crying, and suffering because no one understands them.


I don't know everything about you.

But if you are crying right now, I want to run to you.

(related article)


 

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